Thursday, November 6, 2014

Snorers, Go Sleep Together, Til Eternity

Hello snorer, I hope you didn't sleep any poorer when
 I stayed up all night typing this not-poem....
I meant you no harm, but I had to stay up because
 I couldn't make music out of your obnoxiously loud cacophony of windpipe crap, er "divine noise".  Time to not-pretend to absolutely hate your snoring under the guise of being perfectly okay with it for the sake of setting the tone a bit nicer to all who must hear it, so they can BEAR to, for otherwise it would be absurd.  Not as absurd as anyone hating to have aural drills applied to all their chakras all night, but still absurd enough to get a chuckle out of me (I hope it didn't wake your fine specimen here). It was never my intent, though it was always my ethical concern (if only everyone could be as reciprocal as you and I).   Oh, my not-pretend hatred is very thinly veiled.  I wasn't totally defeated by your snore-sound armies so that I couldn't type words, but I may have lost some of my desired effect due to the sometimes wincing distraction they caused to my piece of mind at this or that time when I needed it the most (even though I was awake, which is no crime if snoring at night and keeping me that way isn't).

Well, I did ask you if you'd mind if I typed,
I did tell you that you could tell me if this quiet purr of clicks would bother your precious sleep, but I never felt a need to be concerned, because whenever I
was typing I heard you snore, and whenever I was in the heights of 
some new discovery or epiphany your sharp and sudden thunder stroke of near-death scream à la corrugated-metal, vibrating in the torrent of some sudden gale-force gust of wind, took 
me away from that just to remind me that, through the realization that "oh, THAT was just your precious SNORE" and not your being stabbed to death (to my chagrin), THAT IN FACT I might have continued my own process (if I were but deaf) and reached the zenith of some concept vastly more important even than the sum of all your lived out years on earth.  It tells me exactly what you are doing (getting some haggard sleep), this loud and sharp sound of alarm which you emit, and in the process destroys whatever I was doing, like some evil drill sergeant screaming in my ear at night yelling "Go to sleep, maggot!", or if I were trying to ace a logic test to "Concentrate harder, maggot!"  Guess some part of my reticular formation took your damned thunderclap from hell the wrong way, but it seems you have no consideration for the hardwired issues that surround the need for some steady and decent quiet during sleep, at least not if it is anyone else's sleep that is at issue, or any other activities for that matter, even reflective thought or reminiscing or writing a poem about love and beauty... ah, but that is impossible to do when immersed, nay saturated by the violent hate-force and ugliness from your respiratory war zone of evil death to all peace, which attacks through the very portal which the demiurge made sure was kept unsealed and virtually unsealable save by extreme or impractical measures, apparently so that his vile music in general can't be ignored at will.  But it is this evil variation on that theme, this snoring, and any other such onslaught which robs one of sleep or concentration or any other necessary or higher and more sublime impulse or action that is so ethically insulting right now, especially because some people actually THINK that they have a right to this as an inviolable status quo.

Ah but these noises are supposed to be, according to those who beatify evil, signs to me of your restful sleep, indications to me that "all is right with the universe, write a song to it or something".  So I simply didn't worry about your sleep, because your snoring made me certain it was going along just fine (unlike mine, or even some of my other hopes and dreams tonight).  I was certain that my electronic beeps from my devices were every now and then music to your ears, just as they were to mine (if reciprocity is to be maintained). This is because in the midst of these I heard you snore, and when you snored, I took you to be asleep.

Ah but then again, then again, these are fanciful constructions which simply say that what is wonderful for me should be just fine and dandy with you, at a bare minimum, and on those grounds of very unsymmetrical attitude about right and wrong I would have to begin my music tirade of words as well.  But I don't view justice and propriety along such selfish lines as these.

What I see is that duplicity is your thesis.  I have anecdotal accounts which are marvelous to behold first hand, but the details of the absurdities cannot be done justice in the language of men, for the intensity of such insanity can only be borne lightly by the frailest frayed ends of my sanity for having lived through your acoustically maddening inanity.  Let's just say that lives have been at stake.

You didn't ever admit to me that my noises were not music to YOUR ears.  Indeed  you claimed never to be bothered by them because you never voiced up against them.  I suppose you might as well voice up against them in the street as well if it turns out not all of you snorers-go-a-viking types like to hear my mouse clicking away like tapping noises on a metal plate in your skull.  And if the snorer entity near me is one of those who really have no ontological maleficence, then it is not me, but another non-snorer-who-must-stay-up-late-and-so-be-occupied person whose nocturnal joys were misinterpreted as direct assaults on the dignity, spirit, or just basic mental viability of your wounded snoremonster troop of anti-late-stayer-uppers, who go one step beyond being an unfortunate mutilation upon another, but also make incongruous demands for the sake of their own sanity and health on top of an absolute disregard for others claims to the same. Because in fact, believe it or not,t we used to be sleep-at-night-entities like you, but that was before you showed up, thoracic marching band in tow.  Marching bands are musical also, to some people.  And for some all hours of the night are perfect for a marching band.  Who am I to tell them otherwise.  

Well let me know the next time a marching band is given special permit to come through your neighborhood at night, and I'll be glad to point out to you the first Snorer'sville, because only they should be expected, in all justicen to live with the macroscopic manifestation of their personal narcissistic paradises.  Let utopias (or dystopias) be populated only by those who contribute to their collective results, not also those who refrain or abstain or simply don't participate, because the Fundamental Principle of Reciprocity is being broken, and all True Laws are broken by the party who demands anyone suffer the results of what is not but the creation of those making this demand.  It is nothing but Ontological Assault, and it is a crime against GOD.

Let you all go to your own place and form your own nation, and see if you can consistently demand everyone else find music in your damned and accursed racket!  But until then I expect some of you will have to take the damage returned by the growing number of people who are very much tired of living under the horrors of your infliction upon us, your demonic and evil tyranny of mind-crushing hate that is your damned noise.  We will do yoga and breathe, and stretch, and some light calisthenics to relax and seek some focus and composure, whenever our spirits require, and this will be unchallenged by you so long as you are asleep, and it will be unchallenged by you so long as you are awake, too.  For in the latter case you are already awake (and so still are we, usually and unfortunately) while in the former case it is far quieter than your snoring, both in its valleys and peaks.  And moreover it has not kept you up, but in fact I have noted that you wake yourself up with your own music when it reaches a certain crescendo.  

Unless you want to say that those crescendos are some sort of involuntary complaint about MY crescendos of spirit, when I start typing about 20% faster than normal, with perfect focus and accuracy while reaching an aesthetic pleasure approaching orgasm, when I realize that it is almost unerringly in the midst of such an experiences that I hear your crescendo resound. And since it was not intended to be a distraction for me to prevent the smooth development of some epiphany (as you claim), then surely my "music" must have also gone undetected by your ears, as well as your spirit. Or is it fairer to say it was the very cause of your crescendo, or at least its inspiration?  It isn't being passive aggressive, by the way.  I'd rather just hit you on the head with something than go about it that way.  It's me trying to spend my time awake at night doing something other than this:

Therefore I needn't worry that it is I that is keeping you up, even if for only brief stints at a time, especially by comparison to my all-night vigils.  Not so, but it is you who are so enraptured by my occasional laughs or giggles as I edify my weary, sleep-deprived mind on some bit of morale-boosting entertainment.  With headphones on of course.  It's also courteously plugged into the computer to prevent my favorite bit of Judas Priest from hurting your ear drums, or else overstimulating your music appreciation centers, which are verily attached to your ear-drums by a nerve bundle (and what nerve you all have there).  This means I've spared you too much distraction from any already-abundant music of the spheres effect you may be savoring which might have emanated from my bumbling around in the dark (to keep the lights out of course, after all people are sleeping).

Yes but that is a minority of you perhaps, who would lie about that and in fact who ought to say that our nocturnal emissions are not what you'd call restfully mind-relaxing crickets in the dead of night with an occasional hoot in the distance...  But they are a minority, the rest of you are so definitely in good faith.

But then why do I always run into those of your tribe who have strange and unethical habits, such as destroying others' lives by ruining their one perhaps most preciously personal and inalienable need second only to air and water, and that is sleep.  It is, in terms of acute necessity, in many ways more needed than food, though in the long term food catches up.  But food catches up only because not eating food is a  lot like not getting sleep, but just a lot more intense on the body when it drops to some critical point because we know from experience it is on raw nerves that we can go for a while in search of food, but if the food can't be found (perhaps because of our lack of sleep ruining our cognition in some way), then we will not eat, nor sleep, because we'll be dead.  

But either way, we'll be dead, for lack of sleep kills, both directly and indirectly, if suffered over a short time and/or in a diluted form over a long time.  That would be poetically commensurate to the sadistic similitude of the types of snoring sounds with the types of ways to die from being deprived of sleep according to two modes (acute and chronic), over many keys of incident, accident, lost opportunity and ill-starred fate, all of which can be mapped in some way back to that auditory persecution of our very souls of which your kind are in some swelling numbers quite proud.  Just think of all the car accidents, work accidents, altercations, fits of rage altercations due to road rage due to accidents, altercations due accidents due to road rage, and just plain murder because the person in front didn't go fast enough and you got stuck at a red.  Let's not justify making things worse with your snoring, as if it were a driving catalyst for anything Good.  Students and others who must apply themselves to important and sometimes dangerous tasks suffer an increased inability to concentrate well or sometimes at all, and other life-damaging conditions of the mind, and also of the body, which accrue from lack of proper and healthy sleep at night!  This is by no means to summarize properly the multitude of damages sleep deprivation causes, that is a very big chapter in a book on human psychology you ought to read sometime.  Or check out a good journal of medicine concerning the topic of sleep and needed rest.   It is simply that the connection to these hells is directly linked to the actions (and inactions) of people who snore, and so the last thing they need to be doing is pretending they are farting music out of their glottal regions.

Good thing for most of you though, right?  Because surely our music is also sweet, and I really hope I've inspired many to face this need for equality, and be on their guard against any unjust whining or groaning from those who seem in point of fact to value their sleep just a good deal more than they value anyone else's.  Not only because they really really love to get those zzz's but because they think that in the natural order of things, before people suddenly went mad and evil, people went to bed and slept well even partly BECAUSE of this brachio-esophageal orchestral lullaby.

What we are supposed to hear according to the poetry of Raj Arumugam versus what we must, and cannot fail to hear, since ever hearing began to exist and take notice of snoring until today and on into the future until all the stars are burned out in every universe without exception:

But we'll be on our guard against those complaints, because we know you have plotted to take to the streets against us to defend your noisiness-all-night-every-night rights.  So we'll be on guard to defend ours, TO THE LAST FIBER OF OUR BEING.

Because you insufferable bastards are cruel, and cruelty no one should abide.  No one in my world, in my society of people, will be allowed to inflict cruelty on another person, nor be callously prejudicial in their own favor when injuries do occur because of their actions merely on the grounds that the damage it causes coincides with the fulfillment of a need on their own part, even while that fulfillment is of a need which is obstructed from satisfaction in the other part, and by THAT VERY SAME REASON, so that your sleep depends on keeping others awake.  UNLESS you can somehow con or coerce them into developing some form of Stockholm Syndrome and confuse the torment you inflict upon them with a sign of your love and wonderfulness to be around.

Yes, I know you hear me typing now, through your well-behaved proxy.  I feel it. If not he per se, then in a parallel universe not too far off, there's a version of him who does.  Perhaps not the one I know now, on day one of having moved into this room, but perhaps one represented in this universe by someone who has found himself in some sort of circumstances found later on during his stay, this mixed with the fact that familiarity breeds contempt... He'll start making some righteous demands of some kind, and I might not be in a such a good mood about that due to lack of proper sleep, and this will coincide with said contumacy against my own rights (such as to breathe, type, surf the net, or do other nocturnal things other than snoring which might keep others up).

As to that last point in parentheses, snoring is an activity which you perform in conjunction with your getting sleep, and it therefore means not well for your notion of fairness to say things as they are, and simply say the truth, which is that your getting sleep deprives others of theirs, but it can be logically deduced.

It can also be logically deduced that the don't give flying damn if you don't like the fact that we don't like your ear-rape night after night, which is a good name as any, but should perhaps at times be amended to body-demolishing soul-murder of a mortally sinful nature, and with an ethical incongruity to good character of a person to maintain it, all the more to sings its praises to us and call it "good poetry".

My tirade is intended to be expressive of a sincerely felt Truth, manifested in this which is only one of many forms, where things are never neutral, but divided neatly and perfectly into either Good or evil, so that no thought, word, or deed can be trivialized as mundane, neither in its innate import nor in its exported impact for others.  This is of the essence of ethics and has many metaphysical groundings which can be rationally demonstrated, but only to rational people.  For things in general, and for snoring as one example in particular, any attempt to refute this dichotomy will self-contradict into absurdity, and to state it clearly is to state a tautology which cannot but be the case in fact.

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